Charlotte Claire Ready to Meet Her Public
– Do you have a reasonably fast internet connection? A desire to see Claire live? Download Skype and drop me an email at: WDass@hotmail.com. Let me know what you are willing to offer in trade for face time with Claire. Her time isn’t cheap.
So, I’m sure you have questions:
1) What is Skype?
– This is an internet service that allows you to talk over the internet, for free, to other Skype users. I am a Skype user. You can talk to me for free if you join the cult.
2) How do I get this so-called Skype? And is it really free?
– Yes. It is really free. In order to get the Skype, simply click this link: http://www.skype.com/download/skype/windows/ Did you click the link? Viruses are now infecting your computer. If the link did not work, I encourage you to turn ON your computer. You may be receiving this blog telepathically.
– If the link worked, you will see a big blue box urging you to feel closer and depicting a mysterious woman singling out her least favorite subject for execution. Below this odd graphic, you will see a big green box that says "Download Now". Click this box.
– The download will start automatically. The screen will provide set up instructions. They are written in Chinese, but I’m sure you’ll get it. Don’t forget to use a fork, not a screw driver, to attenuate the talkybots. These are conveniently located in the wall outlet behind your computer. Really, you just have to stick the fork in and rattle it around. It’s tech jargon.
3) Are you sure it’s free?
– Yes. It really is. But, they do offer pay for services. You do not need these to see Claire.
4) Okay, I’ve paid a person from Best Buy to install this software for me, now what?
– When we prepare to talk, we can speak on a regular phone line and I’ll talk you through our first connection. Please don’t call and ask for an explanation of the internets and the tubes and the computer machine. You aren’t ready for Skype.
5) But I don’t have a web cam!
– If you response to number five is "why would I need a ‘web’ ‘cam’, whatever that is, to see each other?" Skype is not for you. It’s okay if you don’t have one. We probably don’t want to see you anyway. However, you will be able to receive video.
So, there you have it. If you made it this far, well done. If you haven’t, then it doesn’t really matter to you what I type here. Just remember, Claire may not want to show her face all the time. Or, she may be otherwise engaged. So, don’t be all like ‘get her on the video now, man.’ Because that’s just rude.