“Clever Girl”

How did you spend your Friday afternoon?  Because, I win.
So, after some contemplation, it occurred to me that, in all likelihood, Claire would probably need two Halloween costumes.  I mean, she wears like four outfits a day as it is.  After some reflection, and some time on my other favorite internet time sink, I opted to try and create a velociraptor costume.
Explaining this idea to another person, they responded by saying it would be an especially handy costume for dealing with annoying people.  When they bother you, you just hold the baby at them and say "rawr" or "phwoar" and then walk away.  That’s exactly it.  Exactly.  Unfortunately, as it happens, I’m an idea man.  And not really a sew-er.  I know the appropriate word is seamstress or tailor, but I’m nowhere near that level of proficiency.  It would be insulting to their profession to label me as even a ‘very bad’ tailor.  As a result, the hard work was passed on to Danielle.  As it happens, I am a qualified back seat sew-er.
"You’re doing that wrong."  Then, from the porch with the sliding door locked from the inside, a muffled "Yeah, but you’re still doing that wrong."
The following documents the results of a work in progress.  I realize that she looks more like Animal or the Cookie Monster than velociraptor.  Like I said, a work in progress.  Plus, you’ve got to look past the fact that I’m just not a Disney Imagineer.  Not yet.  It’s more for the adorable factor.  And I’m not sure if Danielle, me or the baby is more adorable in this process.  Saccharinely sweet.
That said, I believe we have achieved the Most Adorable Baby Velociraptor Costume Evar.  Which may or may not recieve minor modifications.  Like, as it occurs to me now, a flippin’ tail.  D’oh.  Idea man fail. 
So, dude, what’s with the same picture over and over?  Well, I found the photographing process to be hilarious.  At first, she really enjoyed being a velociraptor.  Three minutes later, a hot sweaty mess inside of basically a flannel wintersuit, she became less interested in being a velociraptor.  Conviently, this led to some fairly velociraptor-esque protests.  Flailing, snorting, grunts, attempted mauling of one of the parental units.  You know, that sort of thing.  So far, I’d say a win.
Either way, action poses to follow tomorrow in velociraptor 1.1, or 2.0 depending on how you feel about major structural remodification and version numbering.

On That Note: Comics

Since we’re talking about laughter, here’s a couple of cartoons on parenting that I’ve enjoyed recently.
Parental Trolling (http://xkcd.com/531/)  
Contingency Plan (http://xkcd.com/573/)
I implore you not to straight to http://xkcd.com/ and read more of these.  There are more than 600 of them.  If you do, start from http://xkcd.com/1/ , the first one because you’ll be frustrated when you try and figure out what you’ve read and what you haven’t.  Some are more adult than others.  Although, what should prevent you from looking at these at work is the fact that it’s an automatic sixty minute time sink, minimum.

The Anatomy Of A Laugh

Original title for this post: "Oh Golly, She’s A Real Boy."  Yeah, I’m less than satisfied with that title.  I was going for a sort of Pinnochio theme.  But, gender idiomatic confusion plus other minor issues, upon reflection I dislike it.
So, why the Pinnochio theme?  Tonight, Claire laughed for the first time.  Danielle was holding the baby and I was playing the game where I help Claire play boxing by swinging her arms around by her sleeves like a master puppeteer.  When all of a sudden, she laughed.  And not a baby gurgle that passes for a giggle.  It was a laugh. 
Best.  Moment.  Ever.
Following is my attempt to document this new skill via photograph.  Also, upon reflection, perhaps not the best media for such an endeavor.  You know, what with the highly necessary auditory portion.

And then I pretty much ended the process by engaging the flash.  The Princess was…dissatisfied with the flash.
For you detail oriented folks: yes, there are two full bags of chocolate bars on the table; yes, they are mine-all-mine; yes, Sean Hannity is on the television; no, he is not mine-all-mine.
And, here are two photographs of the other day’s sunset.  The Anatomy of a Laugh and the Epic Beauty of Global Proportions rightly go together.  In my book, a cosmic ball of fire effecting an eye popping sunset on a little ball of rock a hundred million miles away is roughly the same level of grace as a baby’s first real laugh.  And I was there for both of them.  I’m thinking of some lottery numbers right now.

Little Miss Coordinated

As I mentioned previously, Claire had a visit to the doctor’s office.  All was well.  Except for the look of horror that crossed her face when I let a doctor stab her with a needle.  Up until that point, it was slightly annoyed crying.  After the stabbing, well, she got a very confused look and then proceeded to alert the neighboring offices that she was being murdered.  On the one hand, it’s nice to know that pain is infrequent enough for her to still be confused by it.  On the other hand, for thirty seconds my daughter thought she was being murdered.
Either way, she dressed to wow for the visit.  Rockstar, pretty, Princess of the Galaxy baby that she is, she looked faa-aabulous.
Next time, if I think of it, I’ll have to take a video to document that face.  It was heart wrenchingly hilarious.
In other news, ‘bloviate’ and I have agreed to see other words.  ‘Outstanding’ is looking like a good rebound word; if abused by improper usage on my part. 

My Little Demon

Oh yes, she’s quite full of hellfire and damnation and vim and vigor and all that.  She does camoflauge it rather well.
Not pictured are the thirty minutes I spent with the young mistress today whilst she tried to murder my eardrums.  Oh, I’m not complaining.  We’re quite lucky in that department.  Rather, it suddenly occurred to me that ear plugs might not be a bad idea.  And, verily I say unto thee, earplugs are good.  Don’t, worry, I didn’t put baby in a corner and ignore her.  Nobody puts Baby in a corner!  But, they did prevent the day long earache that accompanied the last monster wail that she unleashed upon me, catching me unaware, as I held her by my head.  So, there was much rejoicing.
In other news, my short term love affair with the word ‘bloviate’ continues.

The One Where I Prognosticate

The AP will revise its position that Alabama is the number one team by voting Florida back into the number one position.  The Coaches Poll, the BCS and the Harris Poll see Florida as number one.  Maybe Alabama’s Fail-And-Win Strategy will be roundly demoted by the AP into the number three position. 
Florida wins today over Mississippi State.  And their head coach was the offensive line coach that worked with Tebow to get his Heisman Trophy.  Alabama wins over Tennessee, but not through any fault of their own.  And Lane Kiffin is still obviously a jerk. 
Football news aside, here’s some photos of life around the Dass Compound.
Claire really likes to watch tv with us.  The ranting news shows with the bright colors really engage her.  She’s like Rainman with MSNBC’s Ed Show.  Not one of my favorites though.  Sacrifices have to be made.
Claire getting some tummy time (I really dislike these expressions) watching Alabama try to lose to Tennessee.  She had mixed emotions about it.  On the one hand, Lane Kiffin is a bloviating pontificator (her words, though I agree).  On the other hand, even the AP poll doesn’t mean anything, Alabama should have refused the number one spot on the grounds that they had yet to earn it.  It’s not an award for future endeavors, after all.
Slightly less interested in football.
Not to bad a day, all in all.  After the rain finished, it was decent weather with an interesting eye of god sunset.