My Daughter The Soup Nazi

So, at around 4AM every morning, Claire announces that it is now time for the portion of the night where she sleeps with mom.  She does this by grunting quietly for a few minutes and then ripping a series of impressively loud farts.  I don’t mean baby impressive either.  She’s like Booger, but with farting instead.  It’s really quite amazing.
Also, just found out that one of the dogs probably has a bladder infection.  And the cat has engaged in one of her periodic crap on the stairs protest against some imagined slight from the litter box.  Outstanding.
Basically, the message here is if you want attention in this Dass compound, you need to engage in some plumbing related extracurricular activities. 
I’m idly considering taking up pooping my own pants.
The rewards are sweet, I suppose.

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