Cage Fight

So, sometimes Claire gets along with her playpen.  And, naturally, sometimes she does not.  When she doesn’t, she likes to throw her toys out of the playpen.  She sometimes does this in her crib as well.  If she wakes up quietly, she will occassionally throw her Pooh bear onto the ground in front of her.  When it does not magically fly back to her, she howls with despair and rage.
The playpen spectacle is a little less dramatic.  There’s some basic yelling, and some dropping of toys over the side.  Ocassionally, in the act of emptying her crib, she’ll accidentally get intrigued by a toy and forget her protest.
I’m really not sure what the exact motive is.  I wonder if she thinks she’s supposed to be where her toys are.  If the toys move, why of course Claire moves.  Or, if she’s staging executions of her favorite toys.  As in, do you see what I do to the things I like?  Let me out, or else!  I’m partial to the latter, but the former is the smart money, near as I can tell.
She has a toy we call The Farm, or Her Farm Toy.  In Capitals, like that.  Basically it’s a square of plastic half as big as she is with a five note keyboard at the bottom that makes various noises and songs incessently.  We love it.  She loves it.  Wait, she loves it.  We don’t.  That toy is always the last to go.  But, not by her choice.  She’ll try and lift it over the edge and it’s mass just knocks her over.  It’s amusing.  I can’t wait till she figures out how to chuck it out.  It’s a real problem, but she’s doggedly pursuing it.
Speaking of the dogs.  They are totally freaked out by this game.  That too is amusing.
Bit of a prison theme coming.  I think tomorrow’s post will dovetail nicely.

Bio Dome – Get It?

She’s a smart one, that, er, one.  Claire, that is.  Me, less so.  The other day, we’re having lunch, Claire and I.  I’m chowing down and she’s chowing down.  Everything is copasetic.  Then, I look over and, well, here’s a photo.
Oh my God, she’s tearing down the house in protest of my substandard care!  No, not really.  It was more like, "So, Dad.  I’ve been kicking around the idea of peekaboo in my head for awhile now.  And, well, I’ve come up with a totally radical variation.  Check it."  Yes.  My daughter instigated a game of peekaboo, with the curtains, to show off her intellect.  She’s planner, that one.  Clever girl.
She still lets me say "BOO!" though.  Which, I thought was pretty generous of her.  I mean, I don’t want to call it before the race is done, but she’s a self sufficient one.  And, it was really nice to be included in play time.  Although, when she makes say "Oh Cla-aire, where are you?" when she’s hidden behind the curtain, I’m pretty sure it’s to mock me.  She knows I know where she is.  I think she’s establishing her superiority.  How flipping crafty is my child?  Oh yeah.
P.S. – I know the photos are blurry.  But, she yells at me when I use my phone.  So, I had to be fast.

On She-Ra (Seriously)

Thanks, Nicole for dropping the link in the comment.  For all those who might be interested, She-Ra’s expression for transforming from Adora into She-Ra:
"For the Honor of Grayskull…I am She-Ra!" 
Hm.  Danielle doesn’t really go around saying that.  Somebody should, though.  That’s for sure. 
My favorite other bit from the Wikipedia (don’t hate) page:
"She has many times been shown to be able to lift not only full-grown men and robots, but also mountain-like rocks and buildings."
Like, how big are the dudes where she’s from?  And, just what are mountain-like rocks? 
Like I said people, Season 2 is rocking the old school.

Why That’s–MORE!

The other night, Danielle made some old school style shredded barbeque chicken.  Minus three style points for use of crock pot.  Plus eight for ohmygodthatgoodslowcookin quality points.  Claire agreed.  Until she ran out of chicken.
Don’t worry, our save some just in case Claire wants more plate worked like gang busters.  That’s an ironic expression of success, right?  Note the use of radical pirate tee shirt, with pink bow.  Yar.

Of Mayhem And Birthdays

I know it’s been said.  But, it’s worth saying again.  Danielle made that cake.  By hand.  From scratch.  To my knowledge, and it is vast, the first attempt at such a creative endeavor.  So, top flipping points for Danielle winning the birthday party.  As you can see, we jazzed up the place with some festive pirate decorations and balloons.  Of course, balloons.  Those were for me, but Claire liked them too.  My favorite was the table cloth with the righteous skull and cross bones with the garrish smile and the pink bow.  Wicked cool.  Alas, the doubloons were not chocolate.  But still, a birthday setting made largely of win, with the addition of plastic coins.
Claire, well, she was her usual calm cool self.  She took some stock of her birthday loot.  And promptly decided that the coolest item in the building was the air compressor for the inflatable baby pool.  Go figure.





There Will Be Presents.  Of course, because it’s a birthday, silly.  The Winning Toy was a Put The Balls In And Push A Lever To Make Them Spin With Optional Sliding Door For Extra Mayhem.  It was the first major package opened, and it pretty much won the rest of the event.  As you can see, Claire opened some packages.  Yelled at my sister for checking her brand new PTBIAPALTMTS-WOSDFEM (TM pending).  Then, there was her very own Princess Dress.  Perfect for the Pirate (Aargh) Princess of the Galaxy when attending formal apple sauce dinners.  A big hit indeed.  But, then back to the PTBIAPALTMTS-WOSDFEM (TM pending).  Oh, it also appears the most versatile use of the toy is as appendage enhancement.  Diversify your fun.

There Will Be Cake.  Of course there will be cake, silly.  It’s a birthday party.  Anyroad.  There’s a nice shot of Danielle being Super Mom.  Of course, she had to arrange Claire’s name and light the candles.  Artists.  And Claire had her own special cake.  Which presented a challenge.  How to start this thing?  Answer, smash the mess out of it with a spoon and shovel, seriously my baby is a tool user, at your face.  Then, yell at people for not applauding her cake eating skills.  Frosting.  She actual made the Home Simpson Drooling Over Food Noise.  Claire’s quote "I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR PIRATE PRINCESS!  APPLAUD ME!" and "Isn’t my tutu cute?  It’s pink.  Yaar."  I love my baby.

Things not really pictured: Brief foray into the inflatable pool.  Involved standing on her own.  My baby is a tool user and bipedal.  Making a plaster hand print for Danielle’s mom.  Go Diana for being the one to secure something reasonable approaching a baby’s hand print.  CLAIRE SMASH!  Pink Party Plasticware.  Retro Future Shiek.  Massive clean up of frosting.  Because, if cake tastes good, maybe one should rub it all over one’s head?  Sticky.  Very sticky.  And some general lounge time with the family-at-large.

All in, a good day.  And a good birthday for Claire.  I appreciate that she has no ability to recall this, but she had a blast.  And, I’d say that was worth the small hassle of getting everything ready.  For me.  I mean, Danielle did all the work.  I grilled some food.  So, for me, small hassle.  For Danielle, Herculean She-Ra Super Mom.  Did She-Ra have a catchphrase?

Thank you to everyone who sent presents, contributed help/money/supplies, and well wishes and happy birthdays.  Claire really enjoyed.  And Danielle and I totally dug the birthday celebration.

Tomorrow?  Earth, Meet Claire, Age 1.0.

And I’m done. [drops microphone; exit stage right]

Power. REMIX. Blog.

Dear Internets,
I was away for awhile, but I’m back now.  Back with the new stuff.  I’ve been in the studio, working out my vision.  Purple afghan rugs, versailles decor, you know, the usual.  If you have no idea what I’m referencing, that’s alright.  I’ve been expanding my cyberspace horizons.
When I started this blog, the idea was to document Claire’s first year so that when she is old enough to appreciate the fullness of that combat to the death bipolar psychological cagematch of beauty, she would have the means to do so.  But, I’m digging the idea of Season 2.  So without further ado:
When we last saw Claire, she was preparing to deal with the mayhem of her first birthday.  Let’s go off that cliff.
In regular increments for the rest of the year.  Because I don’t want to leave my peeps hanging.
BAM! Best blog post ever!
It’s a process,

So Sorry

Dear Internets,
I am sick.  So sorry.  Here is an Aftermath picture of Claire from her party to tide you over:
Now, back to tripping the light fantastic.  On cold medicine.  Good day.