A Look Back – Part The First

I love serious, momentous, life changing moments.  Whenever I find myself in one of them, I’m often suprised that I can’t see glowing light or hear a moving orchestral piece in the background.  I think mostly, if I called "Line" would people get the joke?  Because I know this is serious, but life just seems so mundane in the moment.  We were trying to get pregnant, so we took a pregnancy test.  It was fun. 
I did miss that everyone else in the room could not hear the narrator’s voice carefully describing the emotional tone of the room.  Proust was off in the corner of the apartment describing the multi-owner pedigree of our feux wood coffee table.  So, I took a picture of Danielle when she wasn’t ready.  Then she yelled at me because this moment was supposed to document the (impending, but probably certain) creation of a life.  I took a picture of her reaction to the initial picture.  That was a great day.
Claire’s birth was a sleepless death march to life.  By the time she had finally joined the world, Danielle and I both were emotional wrecks.  Well, that would imply there was still enough energy to mentally appreciate our inability to emotional process recent events.  But, when I went with Claire to get her cleaned up she held my finger like that for what felt like hours.  I think it was only a few minutes.  She still grabs my finger like that when I’m carrying her around.  Danielle’s moment was in recovery, after they both had been cleaned up and sorted out.  I am now the handhold, by the skin of her fingertips, for a human life clinging for security in a scary new world.  Oh god.  There should have been a test.  I didn’t even pass the fishing license exam.
The last picture is from Claire’s second month on Planet Earth.  She’s always so serious.  I have found that the frowny face isn’t dissatisfaction so much as it is her concentrating face.  What is going on here?  I’ll get to the bottom of this yet.  And, as we’ve seen in later months, this kid will get to the bottom of any question in a slap dash concussion inducing rush.  And, god I love that.  Raw human curiousity in play is a sight that never fails to inspire me.  Think, people of earth.  Observe and ponder!  And Claire has that in spades.  And just enough of a lack of fear that she dives in every time.

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