You know, before you have a baby it’s hard to believe how totally and completely someone can love you and want to share everything with you. Hm. I may be in trouble with my wife. I’m not saying this right. Let me try again.
I didn’t know before I had a baby just how much they want to share with you. I’m talking about literally sharing, here. I mean, they teach that in Kindegarden, right? So, either my baby is hyper-advanced or, no, she’s just hyper-advanced. This is my baby:
She’s always sharing with me. "Hey dad, look at this cool toy I found. You play with it." "Hey dad, I have two toys, you try this one." "Hey dad, I chewed this up for you." I know, awesome, right? She’s…wait. Wait a minute. She’s treating me exactly like we treat a baby. Oh God. We’ve been treating our baby like a baby! Wait. No. That’s normal, right?
I’m not sure now. Why wasn’t there a manual? Or, at least a test on the manual? There should have been a test. I don’t know any of these answers. I’m terrible at take home exams. Just terrible. I always assume I have more time to check the answers from the book and I always wind up rushing the answers during lunch period. I’m totally freaking out. This is like that dream where I’m driving my car from the backseat.
But, it is pretty cute, right? The sharing baby, not my insanity. Maybe both?
Disclaimer: I don’t prechew the baby’s food. That’s a oneway street from her to the dogs. Which everyone considers an adorable win. There will be no questions. ADORABLE!