Kind Of Blue

This is what the dogs do when Danielle is gone.  Traitors.

 

 

Seriously.  It’s true.  Danielle and Claire are out of town for Memorial Day Weekend.  Nobody feel sad for me.

 

 

That’s what I do.  So, there’s about two hours down.  Plus, I’ve been meaning to listen to the Miles Davis album for awhile.  So, fifty six more minutes down.  Of course, there’s the seventy or so other hours to have considered.  Suffice it to say that this plan did not exactly survive first contact.

Everyone Just Hold On…It’s Going To Be Okay

Got this in the mail today.  Phew.  Talk about a load off.

 

 

Don’t you worry about that * though.  It’s a very small *.

 

In other news, Kaya just tried to commit suicide by falling down the stairs.  So.  Yeah.  I’m awake.  I thought the, god forbid, ninja brotherhood had finally found me.  Turns out it’s just the dog not paying heed to, you know, stairs.  Battle ready, I’m just going to surf the net to find *people who are wrong* and correct them.

These I Approve Of

Well, as much fun as it is for me to drag my wife through some very public mud, the truth of it is that there are some great photos of Claire in there.  Mind, she could be better about doing anything technical with her iPhone.  But, you know, that’s why we’re a team.  Most of the time.  Or, at the least, when I’m not winning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even though these photos were taken over a couple of months time, I’d say it’s a fairly representative set for a day in the life of Claire.  Wake up.  Mostly naked mess.  Outfit.  Seven more outfits.  Nap.  Wake up happy.  Seven more outfits.  Nap.  Wake up happy.  Seven more outfits.  Black out. 

 

And that about sums it up.

RRo…W,INSIAoT – Volume I: Incident, The Third

This is the third and final issue of volume one in the finding of pictures on Danielle’s iPhone of which I do not approve.  This is Incident, The Third – Or the Beer Bottle Opener.

 

 

Of all the toys she could play with, we’re encouraging Bottle Opener?  I mean, where’s a good old fashion sock or a drink carrier from Wendy’s?  She’ll play with most anything you sent in font of her.  While it may be fun to now set up her with a closed bottle and a bottle opener and see where she goes from there, it is almost certain to end in disaster.  Disaster I tell you.  Disaster!  Ooooooo.

In Other News…

Consider this a teaser. 

 

Remember that photo website where I’m archiving a culled selection of my photographs?  Yeah.  That one.  From way back then. 

 

And how you were all like, okay, but why would I want photos of your vacation or whatever?  You know, some of those scenic shots are pretty great wall art.  I’m just saying.  I bet I could charge, like, money or something, you know, to people who are into that sort of thing.  You know, people who appreciate art, or whatever.  Not like any of you lot.  But, it’s okay.  I’ve come to terms with why you’re here.  It is all about Claire.  I did call it The Life and Times Of Charlotte Claire Dass.  Not, TLaToCCD – As Recorded By The World Famous Billy Dass.  But, still, that’s how I read the title in my head.  I’m not ashamed of that.  Well.  Maybe a little.  Whatever.

 

So.  Continuing.

 

And how I promised a culled grouping of Claire photos?  Yeah.  That may go up later today.  Oh yeah.

RRo…W,INSIAoT – Volume I: Incident, The Second

Continuing in the line of things "I’m not sure I approve of" we come across Incident, The Second – The Whoa-,-That’s-Inappropriate-For-A-Young-Lady Garb. 

 

Or, this photo:

 

 

Now, here we have Michelle looking very well put together.  I’d say "beautiful", but I’m not sure what the exact rules are for this instance of a husband commenting on the looks of a sister-in-law.  So, Michelle, clearly dressed in a very complimentary fashion is holding Claire.  Claire who, if I guess correctly, is dressed like a Spanish go-go dancer. 

 

I’m not sure why Spanish comes to mind.  Something in the design of the wrap. 

 

But, I do know for a fact that I would not let sixteen year old Claire out of the house dressed in such.  "No, child of mine, you may not leave the house in your underpants and a shoulder wrap.  No, I do not care what ‘bits’ are covered.  Ah! Room!  Clothes!  Now!" 

 

Again, in Claire’s benefit, I do notice that she appears to be saying to Michelle "I take this dress.  I’m naked.  And there are people here."  Clearly Claire has good sensible instincts.

 

Her mother.  Danielle, what *were* you thinking?  And Michelle, well, I thought you were so, well, sensible.

Righteous Rescue Of…Wait, I’m Not Sure I Approve Of This – Volume I

So, periodically I will go and rescue pictures from Danielle’s iPhone in order to aggregate them into the larger collection that is Pictures Of Claire.  And, generally, you know, I’m not surprised.  But, there are some pictures that make me, well, go hmm.  I’m not sure I approve of that.  But, as previously stated, everyone seems largely unconcerned with my opinion.

 

So, I’ve decided to narc on Danielle.  You be the judge.  Presented here, Incident, The First – The Boy Friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, that is the young son of Danielle’s walking friend.  And he’s getting mighty handsy with my daughter.  I’m not sure I approve of that.  Although, two points to Claire for maintaining the Boys-Are-Stupid look the entire time.  Of this, I approve.  The rest, well, you be the judge.

 

Side note.  If you find this to be inappropriate, I’ll need some advice.  I get the impression that me, a rocking chair, a shotgun and some moonshine swilling may not impress the right message, or any message, upon the sensibilities of an infant boy.

Visitor

Danielle’s dad dropped by for the weekend.  And, by dropped by I do mean came deliberately to dote on the baby.  Of which, though no one seems overly concerned about this, I whole heartedly approve.  I mean.  Look.  Just look.

 

 

Do you see?  Do you see the shoes?  Claire is thrilled with the shoes.  Though, less in the wearing sense and more in the I-saw-the-dogs-do-this-I’ll-chew-on-them sense.  Of which I also approve.  Builds character, it does.  So, good job on the shoes I say.

 

It was a good visit.  I even let him borrow a book.  Why does that matter, you say?  Those who know me will appreciate the importance of this.  But, wait, wasn’t he like, off alone with Danielle and the baby?  Yes, of course, why?  And you’re mentioning a book as an important sign of trust?  Well.  That’s how it is with me and books.  Oh, can I borrow a book?  Well, let’s not draw a crowd.  Nuts.  No, Shoes.  What?  Nevermind.

More Cookies?

I dunno.  There’s just something about watching a baby demolish an oreo that is fascinating to me.  I don’t know why.  It’s such a violent indulgence for her.

 

 

 

 

Gimme, Or The Thumb Gets It

You know, "they" have always said babies can be kind of grabby.  Now I know that when "they" say this it is meant to suggest the snappy jaws of death possessed by a baby velociraptor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that is the story of how Baby Claire, the Velociraptor, came to enjoy sweet potato mash.